I was thinking about a show last night, a show that had a section about Sexopeya when this woman had sex during her sleep. This was interesting, but what interested me most was the part where she said she would get up answer the phone and have full coherent conversations with her sister. This triggered a thought in me that made me wonder…who’s driving. By that I mean, if we can function physically and mentally without being conscience during these periods, where is our consciousness? I know this is not a new question but I started to think of it in a way that maybe could find common ground in my own mind, ground shared by both body and soul. It made me think about memory. What if memory is only a biological function while we are alive, what if it is only transferred energy wise, if this even happens, when we die. Does this mean we only remember things when we are not truly detached or actually dead? Does our conscience get a holiday from our past when we sleep, and is dreaming remembered because it is a biological function only. Dreams seem to function independently, for me, mostly, well, almost always. So our brain is able to sew a narrative together quite well without us while we are asleep, and while we are asleep and appear to be awake…very, invasion of the body snatchers, even Avatar-ish.
Then I was thinking about what if that narrative is etched into our brains by our consciousness, soul…whatever, what if the pathways born over time by our mind is like a lithograph, or a series of channels we have made into rivers simply by virtue of use. What if this “print” is the design we copy our life experiences on, and, can we change it.
Behaviour modification suggests we are able to alter certain patterns of thought by forcing the brain to think a certain way, or not think a certain way by intruding on the thought process itself. I have affectively decreased certain OCD behaviour by using such methods. But it still makes me wonder, who is making these decisions. If my brain can function independently, even seemingly with my personality intake while I am asleep, then, where am I, what am I?
I do believe that no one knows the answer to whether we are just a biological mess that oozes back into the ground or something more that co-exists with our brain then departs. So therefore I am free to follow whatever pattern of thought about my own existence I choose to.
So…I believe that these well routed pathways in the brain can be slightly altered but remain a strong impulse through psychic scaring. That is why addiction is so powerful, it never really goes away. I also believe we are much more than just an “illusion” created by the brain to make us feel individually separate from our physical existence by, early on in development, creating the mind, or an extension of consciousness that stands separate from our known self. I think the biological form or memory is stored in the brain till death, then released in energy form. That is why the body can function so well in sleep, because it is accessing memory, and since memory is who we are it is a perfect print of ourselves. The brains not stupid, it knows what it’s doing, even if “we” don’t. We are infantile to a very complicated piece of machinery, tucked away at night to let the body regain some its health. There is the argument by some people that our body is just physical and we are nothing once the mind goes, these people point to head injuries, stroke or Alzheimer’s. But I suggest these bodies still house the imprint of the entire person, including their personality, they are still there, they just can’t access their memories, but they still exist as who they are, waiting, sadly, to be set free. I’m not suggesting everyone right now get up and pull the plug, but come on, who the fuck wants to live that way? I do know that there is also the argument that if we can cure this connection with chemicals, then that is all we are, as in Awakenings etc…but the chemical force is only a tool for re-wiring. Just because science hasn’t figured out how to read or dissect the energy form that is housed in our biological functions doesn’t mean it can’t exist. Fire existed before being “discovered” by man, electricity existed before being “discovered” by man, so really, discovery is just peeling the layers back and finding something that was always there.
I don’t need to be “discovered” to know I exist.